time flies

mid-december. already? wtf? i don't understand. it seems like just yesterday it was thanksgiving. it feels like only weeks ago i was sitting in the park having drinks with my friends. clearly not (it's bloody cold out) but it feels like it, doesn't it?

time is strange. it's both completely abstract and fully precise all at once. it has measurable units - 60 seconds in a minute, 60 minutes in an hour, etc etc. and yet it feels, most of the time, like those units are absolutely immeasurable - hours that drag for days, days that never end.

people say that time flies when you're having fun. but time flies, well, all the time. not just when i'm having fun. time flies when i have deadlines. time flies when i need it to slow down. time flies when i do nothing at all. and time flies when i'm just too busy to notice.

it's funny how your perception can change it all. when you're at work/in school, time can't move fast enough. clocks seem to tick backwards, days drag on, you look up at the clock and think "it's only 2pm? ugh". but then you have weekends/holidays and somehow time just slips through your fingers. you look at the clock and think "it's already 2pm? ugh." but what's different? nothing, technically. but everything, really.

i'm not sure if it's true that time seems to pass more quickly as you get older but it kind of feels like it. (though at this rate i think my 90s will just be a blur!). this year feels like it just disappeared. it seems like only yesterday i was getting into my camper van to drive around australia when in fact it was a full year ago (eep!). it feels like i just moved back to montreal a few months ago when in fact i've been here since feb. it feels like i moved into my apartment a few weeks ago when in fact it's been 9 months (and still no housewarming party...). and it seems like only yesterday...

i sit here typing and thinking about things i'd planned to do today/this week/this month and wonder why i've not managed any of them. i'm looking at the shipping date for the website i'm ordering christmas gifts from hoping that i'll make the cut to guarantee delivery before the 24th, wondering how it's possible that it's december 13th already.

and i think about how i had meant to write this blog post 2 weeks ago but never got around to it because i didn't. have. time.
xo