no. this blog won't only be critiquing quebec, but also to revel in what wonderful things it has to offer. the first thing that i will rave about is this: apartment hunting. oh yes, i can hear it now. my montreal-based friends scoffing at the cost of rent here and how hard it is to find a nice place. i can hear my other canadian friends tell me how much cheaper it is to rent in montreal (i know!). and i can picture my australian friends asking how it's possible to enjoy apartment hunting. surely, i must be joking. i'm not.
'cause here it is. 4 years ago, when we were looking for a place to live in perth we were exposed to the brutality of it all. most places are run by property managers who are (as best as i gather) out for no one but themselves. they are the middlemen of all middlemen. the people who hold your ability to find appropriate housing (and then gouge you for it) in the palm of their hand, always blaming the owner, who generally knows nothing but nothing and does whatever said property manager tells them. if you ask for something to get fixed, you can generally expect a few weeks of waiting because they have to take your request, sit on it for 2 weeks, ask the owner, wait for the answer, go out for dinner on your recent rent increase, file their nails, stop in for a quarterly rent inspection (yes, quarterly), sit on it a few more days, then get back to you.
perth (and most of australia i think) doesn't have a cpi, or a maximum percentage increase per year. instead, as we discovered, it is entirely at the discretion of the property manager. increase your weekly rent by 20$ after 6 months? sure, why not? do it again 6 months later? absolutely. increase it by 15% when you resign a lease? might as well. because if you don't, they'll just tell you that you can leave in 2 weeks and they'll find someone else willing to pay a ridiculous price for a crappy place to live. so you do it. and you hate yourself for giving into them, but what are you going to do? with a rental availability of under 4% (i think it was down to 1% when we rented), you're kind of stuck. they know it, you know it. it's not good.
when we signed our initial lease, we had to offer more money per week to secure the rental. more money! how that is even legal, i don't know. but everyone does it. it's pretty much expected when you submit your application. with a full week's rent. that you only get back if they don't take you. if you want to apply for more then one place at a time you need a good amount of disposable income. you also need to be unemployed (which contradicts the last point, but keep reading) because they schedule "viewings" at the most obscene times of day (2:15 on tuesday afternoon, for 10 minutes. don't be late or you'll miss your chance). when the lease is finally up, it's a battle to get your "bond" back. and i know very few people who ever get it back in full, because the property manager will always find something wrong. always.
so, imagine my glee when i started apartment hunting in montreal to find that not only were there an abundant amount of rentals, but most were through the landlords themselves and many were very reasonably priced. when we called people they were, get this, friendly. they were more then happy to show us their apartments at times that were (wait for it) convenient for us. so i happily went around from place to place, asking what was included (and things were included!), and when the rental started (whenever i like? oustanding!). i was even offered more places when i spoke to a few people ("maybe you'll like this other place better. why don't i take you there?")
when we finally decided on a place (which, i'll add, is awesome), we were pretty stoked. not only were we encouraged to paint ("sure, no problem") but the super in our building was very concerned when we told him the door-lock mechanism was not working well ("i'll call someone today"). he was nice to us. nice. we have an amazing view. heat and hot water included. lots of space. secure parking. secure entrance. didn't have to give a security bond and we negotiated our rent down. down! ha. take that perth.
yes, i know what you're thinking by now. and yes, you should move here too.
xo
March 29, 2011
March 26, 2011
i don't mean to be rude but...
ok, here's the thing. as soon as someone says that, they're going to be rude. "i don't mean to be rude, but that guy is ugly". guess what? that's rude! it's right up there with "don't take this the wrong way", "i'm not trying to be racist" or "no offense". all of these are clearly setting you up for exactly that: racist or offensive comments that will certainly be taken the wrong way. obviously.
i've always wondered where the idea that if-i-open-the-sentence-with-the-obvious-people-can't-get-mad-at-me came from. who was it that looked their friend in the eye and said "no offense but you look fat in those jeans! what?! i said 'no offense'". i imagine that the first few times someone tried to get away with it involved some tears, some rage and possibly some fist-fighting. now it's just part of acceptable culture. a bit sad really.
i'm not sure if it's because i'm getting older or what, but i'll now tell people exactly how i feel about those satements. when someone says "no offense" i call it as it is and say "but you're going to be offensive..." it kind of throws them. like they can't believe i called them on it. well guess what? i did. i'm just trying to do my part -educating one person at a time- that if you're going to say something rude, well damn it! just say it. i'll decide if it's offensive or not and i will make sure you know it too.
if this (free) education comes at the expense of them being flustered and embarrassed, so be it. i'm willing to accept that responsibility. because, no offense, it's just rude not too.
xo
i've always wondered where the idea that if-i-open-the-sentence-with-the-obvious-people-can't-get-mad-at-me came from. who was it that looked their friend in the eye and said "no offense but you look fat in those jeans! what?! i said 'no offense'". i imagine that the first few times someone tried to get away with it involved some tears, some rage and possibly some fist-fighting. now it's just part of acceptable culture. a bit sad really.
i'm not sure if it's because i'm getting older or what, but i'll now tell people exactly how i feel about those satements. when someone says "no offense" i call it as it is and say "but you're going to be offensive..." it kind of throws them. like they can't believe i called them on it. well guess what? i did. i'm just trying to do my part -educating one person at a time- that if you're going to say something rude, well damn it! just say it. i'll decide if it's offensive or not and i will make sure you know it too.
if this (free) education comes at the expense of them being flustered and embarrassed, so be it. i'm willing to accept that responsibility. because, no offense, it's just rude not too.
xo
March 24, 2011
the rules according to me
this is not going to be a post about montreal drivers... though it could be. but i'm still saving that for another post. this is more about driving etiquette (or lack thereof) that i've experienced all over the world. i hated it in australia. i hate it in canada. i'm sure i'd hate it just as much in europe, but i've never driven there. so here are my top 6 pet peeves on the road:
1- not signaling. whether you're turning or just cutting in front of me, in the city or on the highway, the courtesy of a signal light is nice. i am, unfortunately, not a mind reader. so i generally don't know where you're about to go when you're driving in front of me. signals are surprisingly easy to use and take only a fraction of a second to turn on/off. and they save me from cursing at you.
1a- late signaling is just as (if not more!) annoying. if i pull up behind you at a red light, and you only turn the signal on after i'm there, you will likely see my arm raise up in frustration and see me mouthing "c'mon!"in your rearview. surely you knew you were about to turn before you stopped at the light.
2- not waving. i know this sounds petty, but if i let you into my lane (or forgive some other road-sin that you've committed), for the love of god, just put your hand up and give me a quick wave of thanks. otherwise you seem like a pretentious git who feels it's your born right to cut in front of me. nothing enrages my husband faster then a rude cutter-inner.
2a- getting mad at me if i don't let you in. honestly! just because someone slowed down in your lane or a truck stopped to unload something, doesn't mean you automatically get to cut in front of me. wrong! i choose the wrong lane all the time (when i drive, at the checkout of the grocery store, buying tickets for the movie, etc.). i admit, it sucks. but it's no one else's fault. just mine. sure i might get irritated with the super slow cashier, but i keep it to myself (or rant to my spouse/friend) and then move on.
3- not pulling ahead when turning left. the amount of times i've been stuck at a light twice (twice!) because the person in front of me didn't inch forward during the light have been too numerous to count. did young drivers teach you nothing? inch forward. inch forward. it's not that hard.
4- driving slowly in the fast lane on the highway. i get it, you're doing the speed limit. but i'm not. so regardless of how fast you're going, you should get out of the way and move back into the slower lane. i abide by this rule, even when the person who passes me is blurry because they are going so fast. it's my own prerogative. if i want a ticket, so be it. who are you to stop me?
5- using 4-ways as "get out of jail free" lights. ok, here's the thing. when you randomly stop in a lane, or pull over somewhere you aren't supposed to- whether you're blocking traffic or not- turning on your 4 ways does not mean you can do whatever you want. "triple park for 20 mins? no problem. i put my 4 ways on".
6- taking 2 parking spots for one car. last, but certainly not least. this one drives me mental. i'm sorry, but that fact is that if you actually drive a car that is nice enough to warrant the "oblique park" or the "smack between two spots park", then you probably wouldn't park it outside. in the parking lot. at costco (or other such shops). your dodge/chevy/pontiac does not qualify as a good enough car. i don't care if it does have tinted windows or a personalized plate that says "imawsme", it doesn't need that much room. if you suck that much at parking, you should take another driving course.
i had thought about adding "playing bad music loud enough that i can hear it in my car" to the list. i guess i just did. darned drivers. suppose this explains why i generally ride my bike. which is a whole other story in itself...
xo
1- not signaling. whether you're turning or just cutting in front of me, in the city or on the highway, the courtesy of a signal light is nice. i am, unfortunately, not a mind reader. so i generally don't know where you're about to go when you're driving in front of me. signals are surprisingly easy to use and take only a fraction of a second to turn on/off. and they save me from cursing at you.
1a- late signaling is just as (if not more!) annoying. if i pull up behind you at a red light, and you only turn the signal on after i'm there, you will likely see my arm raise up in frustration and see me mouthing "c'mon!"in your rearview. surely you knew you were about to turn before you stopped at the light.
2- not waving. i know this sounds petty, but if i let you into my lane (or forgive some other road-sin that you've committed), for the love of god, just put your hand up and give me a quick wave of thanks. otherwise you seem like a pretentious git who feels it's your born right to cut in front of me. nothing enrages my husband faster then a rude cutter-inner.
2a- getting mad at me if i don't let you in. honestly! just because someone slowed down in your lane or a truck stopped to unload something, doesn't mean you automatically get to cut in front of me. wrong! i choose the wrong lane all the time (when i drive, at the checkout of the grocery store, buying tickets for the movie, etc.). i admit, it sucks. but it's no one else's fault. just mine. sure i might get irritated with the super slow cashier, but i keep it to myself (or rant to my spouse/friend) and then move on.
3- not pulling ahead when turning left. the amount of times i've been stuck at a light twice (twice!) because the person in front of me didn't inch forward during the light have been too numerous to count. did young drivers teach you nothing? inch forward. inch forward. it's not that hard.
4- driving slowly in the fast lane on the highway. i get it, you're doing the speed limit. but i'm not. so regardless of how fast you're going, you should get out of the way and move back into the slower lane. i abide by this rule, even when the person who passes me is blurry because they are going so fast. it's my own prerogative. if i want a ticket, so be it. who are you to stop me?
5- using 4-ways as "get out of jail free" lights. ok, here's the thing. when you randomly stop in a lane, or pull over somewhere you aren't supposed to- whether you're blocking traffic or not- turning on your 4 ways does not mean you can do whatever you want. "triple park for 20 mins? no problem. i put my 4 ways on".
6- taking 2 parking spots for one car. last, but certainly not least. this one drives me mental. i'm sorry, but that fact is that if you actually drive a car that is nice enough to warrant the "oblique park" or the "smack between two spots park", then you probably wouldn't park it outside. in the parking lot. at costco (or other such shops). your dodge/chevy/pontiac does not qualify as a good enough car. i don't care if it does have tinted windows or a personalized plate that says "imawsme", it doesn't need that much room. if you suck that much at parking, you should take another driving course.
i had thought about adding "playing bad music loud enough that i can hear it in my car" to the list. i guess i just did. darned drivers. suppose this explains why i generally ride my bike. which is a whole other story in itself...
xo
March 21, 2011
chicken nest
quebec roads. they are quickly becoming my nemesis. not because of the drivers (which i'm saving for another post) but for their actual quality.
pot holes, in most other places, are a nuisance. in montreal (possibly all of quebec), they are damned well life threatening. there are pot holes the size of dinosaur footprints scattered all about the roads, with no specific pattern and absolutely no warning until you are essentially on top of one (or more accurately, in one). some are deep, some are wide, most are both.
i read recently in the local paper that there are some 20 000 potholes that get fixed every year in montreal. fixed! and they are still behind. how that is possible, i don't know. how a city can have over 20000 death-defying potholes to fix every year is beyond me. it's almost as though the government is in cahoots with the car repair shops- "if you don't fix the roads, i make more money mr. prime minister sir". they're so bad that even the buses have stopped driving down certain roads (with no warning, much to commuters chagrin) because it was giving the drivers back pain and other such problems. if a city bus can't brave these potholes, then what chance does my poor little car have? (correction- my dad's car. which makes me even more cautious, really). and i can't even imagine how you would get through one on your bike *shudder* - mental note: get bigger tire.
i find it hard to believe that this is to be blamed on the weather, which is what most government publications and newpaper articles (suppose they're essentially the same thing nowadays) suggest. there are other cities in canada that have similar weather patterns but no similar pothole problem. is the government cheaping out? probably a more likely story.
i've had a few quebecers tell me that in fact, the state of their roads is pretty similar throughout the province. and that the easiest way to tell that you've left quebec is that there are lines on the road (again, saving that for another post) and flat smooth roads for miles on end. there are a disturbing amount of websites dedicated to potholes in montreal - how to avoid them, how to drive over them if you have to, how to complain about them, etc etc. the fact that people google how to avoid them is astounding.(disturbing?)
as a side note- i want to point out that potholes are called nids-de-poule in french, which (literally) translates to chickens' nests. how a chicken's nest can mean a pothole is beyond me. first, chicken's nests are made of hay, twigs and other such items, not pavement and gravel. second, chicken's nests are usually elevated or in a coop, not dug into the ground. third, not many chickens run around cities (in canada. australia...whole different story!) and fourth, if there is ever a chicken big enough to warrant a nest the size of a small car, so help me god...
xo
pot holes, in most other places, are a nuisance. in montreal (possibly all of quebec), they are damned well life threatening. there are pot holes the size of dinosaur footprints scattered all about the roads, with no specific pattern and absolutely no warning until you are essentially on top of one (or more accurately, in one). some are deep, some are wide, most are both.
i read recently in the local paper that there are some 20 000 potholes that get fixed every year in montreal. fixed! and they are still behind. how that is possible, i don't know. how a city can have over 20000 death-defying potholes to fix every year is beyond me. it's almost as though the government is in cahoots with the car repair shops- "if you don't fix the roads, i make more money mr. prime minister sir". they're so bad that even the buses have stopped driving down certain roads (with no warning, much to commuters chagrin) because it was giving the drivers back pain and other such problems. if a city bus can't brave these potholes, then what chance does my poor little car have? (correction- my dad's car. which makes me even more cautious, really). and i can't even imagine how you would get through one on your bike *shudder* - mental note: get bigger tire.
i find it hard to believe that this is to be blamed on the weather, which is what most government publications and newpaper articles (suppose they're essentially the same thing nowadays) suggest. there are other cities in canada that have similar weather patterns but no similar pothole problem. is the government cheaping out? probably a more likely story.
i've had a few quebecers tell me that in fact, the state of their roads is pretty similar throughout the province. and that the easiest way to tell that you've left quebec is that there are lines on the road (again, saving that for another post) and flat smooth roads for miles on end. there are a disturbing amount of websites dedicated to potholes in montreal - how to avoid them, how to drive over them if you have to, how to complain about them, etc etc. the fact that people google how to avoid them is astounding.(disturbing?)
as a side note- i want to point out that potholes are called nids-de-poule in french, which (literally) translates to chickens' nests. how a chicken's nest can mean a pothole is beyond me. first, chicken's nests are made of hay, twigs and other such items, not pavement and gravel. second, chicken's nests are usually elevated or in a coop, not dug into the ground. third, not many chickens run around cities (in canada. australia...whole different story!) and fourth, if there is ever a chicken big enough to warrant a nest the size of a small car, so help me god...
xo
March 16, 2011
mother nature
i have to be honest. leaving australia in the peak of summer so i could move back to canada (nay, montreal) in the dead of winter may not have been the best idea i've ever had.
somehow, when you live away from the weather you once dreaded, you kind of glamourize it, make it seem like it was wonderful. you recollect warm feelings of glee about snowdays in school (god i wish i still had those). you remember how your cheeks got burned on the skihill that sunny day. you think fondly about mittens, tuques and scarves (such accessories!).
you get off the plane from vancouver (where it it only moderately cold) and step into montreal (where it is bone chillingly cold). you gasp, do a quick inhale and say "i missed this". you sit in the van while your brother drives you through the biggest snowstorm of the year and say "it's not so bad". you wake up at 4am - mostly jetlagged but also wondering what the f that blue light in your room is, only to sneak out of your covers (carefully of course. it's bloody cold in the house) to notice a snowplow encrusting the end of your driveway with solid snow banks but decide that you don't mind. shoveling is fun!
but slowly, steadily, it all comes back. creeping back to you. waking up the real memories of winter that you had so magically hidden in depths of your brain that you never thought they would come back. you actually remember that snow days were only partly fun because you still had to go to school. that your toes got frostbite when you went skiing. and that all the lovely winter accessories are a rather big nuisance when you're doing anything other then walking outside.
i was still doing alright with it all, given the circumstances. having bought boots in vancouver (which, i figured out, are designed for winter in vancouver. not montreal), mittens and a tuque in cornwall (end of season = not nearly good enough) and scrounged my old winter jacket (thankfully wonderfully warm), i was pretty well geared up for the weather. i did, in fact, enjoy a few days of playing in the snow with my nieces, stroll around the block and felt my cheeks get rosy.
and then it happened.
only a few days after i got home, i officially moved to montreal. montreal, as far as i can decipher, is french for "bloody fucking cold". the night i moved here, my mom and i were shocked by the weather (it hit me particularly hard, given that i'd only one week before been basking in 30 degree sun on the beach). my toes froze. my hands froze. i was not at all motivated to go back outside after i got home from work. snow had in fact turned grey overnight. slush was abundant (apparently common here. mental note: find winter rain boots...). and the sun set at 4pm.
turns out i wasn't prepared. not at all. i forgot about winter. i really had created a magical winter wonderland in my head, only to be slapped in the face by real winter. canadian winter. montreal winter. i have moved back to canada (nay, montreal) in the middle of the coldest month. what. the. f. was. i. thinking? mother nature 1, michelle 0.
luckily i only have to endure 6-8 weeks of winter this year. and as the city is starting to melt, i'm starting to think that maybe it won't be that bad after all.
xo
somehow, when you live away from the weather you once dreaded, you kind of glamourize it, make it seem like it was wonderful. you recollect warm feelings of glee about snowdays in school (god i wish i still had those). you remember how your cheeks got burned on the skihill that sunny day. you think fondly about mittens, tuques and scarves (such accessories!).
you get off the plane from vancouver (where it it only moderately cold) and step into montreal (where it is bone chillingly cold). you gasp, do a quick inhale and say "i missed this". you sit in the van while your brother drives you through the biggest snowstorm of the year and say "it's not so bad". you wake up at 4am - mostly jetlagged but also wondering what the f that blue light in your room is, only to sneak out of your covers (carefully of course. it's bloody cold in the house) to notice a snowplow encrusting the end of your driveway with solid snow banks but decide that you don't mind. shoveling is fun!
but slowly, steadily, it all comes back. creeping back to you. waking up the real memories of winter that you had so magically hidden in depths of your brain that you never thought they would come back. you actually remember that snow days were only partly fun because you still had to go to school. that your toes got frostbite when you went skiing. and that all the lovely winter accessories are a rather big nuisance when you're doing anything other then walking outside.
i was still doing alright with it all, given the circumstances. having bought boots in vancouver (which, i figured out, are designed for winter in vancouver. not montreal), mittens and a tuque in cornwall (end of season = not nearly good enough) and scrounged my old winter jacket (thankfully wonderfully warm), i was pretty well geared up for the weather. i did, in fact, enjoy a few days of playing in the snow with my nieces, stroll around the block and felt my cheeks get rosy.
and then it happened.
only a few days after i got home, i officially moved to montreal. montreal, as far as i can decipher, is french for "bloody fucking cold". the night i moved here, my mom and i were shocked by the weather (it hit me particularly hard, given that i'd only one week before been basking in 30 degree sun on the beach). my toes froze. my hands froze. i was not at all motivated to go back outside after i got home from work. snow had in fact turned grey overnight. slush was abundant (apparently common here. mental note: find winter rain boots...). and the sun set at 4pm.
turns out i wasn't prepared. not at all. i forgot about winter. i really had created a magical winter wonderland in my head, only to be slapped in the face by real winter. canadian winter. montreal winter. i have moved back to canada (nay, montreal) in the middle of the coldest month. what. the. f. was. i. thinking? mother nature 1, michelle 0.
luckily i only have to endure 6-8 weeks of winter this year. and as the city is starting to melt, i'm starting to think that maybe it won't be that bad after all.
xo
March 13, 2011
bonjour
at the suggestion of friends and family, i've decided to blog about my new life in montreal and at cirque. having recently moved back to canada from our 4 year stint in australia, i am constantly discovering reasons i'm glad to be home (family) and remembering reasons why i was happy to leave in the first place (weather). i say "oh, it's not like that in australia" or "aussies do this a bit differently" on a daily basis (sometimes with disdain, sometimes with fondness). i become more aware of the similarities we have with the aussies and also the major differences. i shiver, i bundle up, i walk everywhere. i explore.
i'll do my best to blog regularly, but to be honest, i don't think my life is exciting enough to do it daily. that said, i've been amassing good blog fodder for the past 6 weeks already, so i may be able to update a bit more frequently at first.
people have been asking me what it's like being home after being away. in truth, i can't really answer that. because i don't know. see, i grew up in ontario and i am now living in quebec. home couldn't be further from where i am, even though it's only an hour away.
i hope you enjoy the blog!
xo
i'll do my best to blog regularly, but to be honest, i don't think my life is exciting enough to do it daily. that said, i've been amassing good blog fodder for the past 6 weeks already, so i may be able to update a bit more frequently at first.
people have been asking me what it's like being home after being away. in truth, i can't really answer that. because i don't know. see, i grew up in ontario and i am now living in quebec. home couldn't be further from where i am, even though it's only an hour away.
i hope you enjoy the blog!
xo
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