frenchies

i am french canadian. i was raised bilingually by my parents and lived in a bilingual town. my first words were french. my school was french. i went to french church. my friends were bilingual. my holidays and celebrations are french canadian. i have a last name that most english-only speakers can't pronounce. i celebrate things like la ste-catherine and la st jean baptiste. christmas seems wrong when it's in english. you get my point.

when i was 18, i moved away from home to a more anglophone region of canada (nova scotia). i had to deal with re-learning things like chemistry and anatomy in english and having people point out my "inconsistencies" in english because i used french syntax and french-isms when i spoke english. things i'd never noticed before. but then all of my friends did it too.

slowly, steadily english took over. i only spoke french with friends back home and to my dad. i still read french books but other things were hard to come by. then i moved to the netherlands. then to southern ontario. then to australia. slowly, steadily improving my english, losing all indications of french. but never my french-canadian heritage and culture.

and now i'm in quebec.

when i first moved here, i was horrified by my french. i could speak properly (sort of) but i lost the ability to chit chat with friends. i struggled to discuss physio in french. i was embarrassed. my friends told me to not be so hard on myself. i'd been living away from french language and culture for over 12 years and i studied (all things relevant) in english.

slowly, steadily it came back. it took longer then i'd hoped because i work in english, i'm married to an english-speaking east coaster and i live in montreal, where english and spanish are just as prominent. i'm generally confident with it and feel like i've regained the piece of my life that was missing in the past.

and then i remember (or is it reminded?) that i live in quebec.

you see, the quebecois (for the most part) don't seem to know that there exists a french-canada outside of the province (which is ironic because they would never call themselves french-canada. rather quebec). when i meet new people (new, i'll point out. not friends) i get one of the 2 following statements.

the first:  (in the most patronizing tone you can imagine) "where did you learn your cute little french?" (said in french). i used to be surprised at the question, now i'm just annoyed. my answer is "i'm from ontario". they reply "yes, but why do you know french? it's quite good you know (gasp)". again "i'm from ontario. a town about 25 mins from the border". "uhm hmm. i don't understand. are your parents quebecois?" "no, no they're not. my father is french. french-ontarian. my mom is english". they look perplexed; how can this be?

the second (and let me say, this one pisses me off more then anything): me chatting for a minute. them, interrupting me to boldly say something along the lines of "are you an anglophone?" ("no, i'm bilingual") or "...and yet your name is very french" ("ya. i know"), implying that my french sucks (and my friends wonder why i lose confidence). keep in mind that for the most part, i don't really know the people who say these things to me. they're strangers who feel the need to point out that my french is different than - and therefore not as good as- theirs.

i don't know if i can adequately explain how irritating it is to have someone say either one of those things to me on repeated occasions. the first is ignorant (there are some 2.5 million people who speak french as a first language in the rest of canada. not including the bilingual folk out there). the second is rude. assuming that the way you speak a language is the the only way it's meant to be spoken is very arrogant (should i even mention what my france-french friends think of quebec-french?).

language is amazing in that it can be so adaptable and fluid with so many dialects and local expressions. it's all part of its richness. when someone uses different words or slang, it doesn't mean it's wrong. it's just different.

and yes, my french is different than theirs. but you know what? that's ok. i don't want my accent to be a quebec accent because i'm not from quebec. i'm from ontario.

and i am french canadian.
xo